Better things to come, I hope.

I've been pretty depressed lately. I don't know why. Maybe it's a compounding of factors, adding up to a depressed me. It could be that no one outside of the US misses me or that I am out of touch with the rest of the world and have no clue what's going on outside of the 400 metres radius of where I am. Or it could be that I foresee financial difficulties and MSN arguments about money matters. Or maybe it's the never-ending amount of workload that keeps on piling. Or maybe it's that I haven't heard, especially good news, from my friends. Or maybe it's that I'm losing control of my weight. It's not that I mind growing fat that much, it's that I'm now so freaking conscious of my weight. Or maybe it's come I'm so tired. And I know I won't get enough sleep again. I don't know. Like I said, it's likely a function of all those factors. And it's all really frustrating.

Don't get me wrong. I don't regret coming here. I like being here, and also like knowing the fact that I will be leaving in a few months. If I could, of course, I would love to stay for a longer period. But knowing that I would be going back in a few months and knowing that most of the people I meet here wouldn't remember me in a few months time, make me more adventurous, more courageous, more thick-skinned, should I say. I am more willing to try new things or do things I wouldn't normally do back home. So what if I looked stupid, they wouldn't remember me come June.

Tonight, I went for Tango class. It was my second Tango class. Unfortunately, it's not free. And in a few months, these lessons may result in my financial distress. But I need some form of release from all these stress, these frustrations. Tomorrow, I may (or may not, haven't quite decided) go for frisbee training. That is provided I can find them. I hope I can. I need the exercise and the release from the frustrations. Plus, maybe they can teach me how to throw properly. Friday, I'll be leaving for Itasca and won't be back til Sunday. I hope it snows before I go Itasca, then cross country skiing and snow shoeing would be more fun. Now, if only I could get myself a little more excited.

Gina